That's what I'm calling it. Bipolar school. That's what I'm telling my kids too. I think it will be much less tramatic for them that mom is away for a while to call it school than bipolar jail. It's all how you think of it right. "Struggling is optional" as my friend would say.
The program I am in is a partial program. They don't have 24 hour care, it's just part-time. It honestly reminds me of college. I have a schedule with very minimal breaks and I was lucky enough to scarf my lunch down quickly and slip on over to the local library to write. It feels a little like jail not having the normal luxuries of life, like a cell phone. Things like getting from place A to B has become a little more difficult without a phone. And all the things I'd normally just use my phone for need a little more thought. I miss my boys faces, I miss music and audiobooks. But it's good to be unplugged so that I'm focused wholly on the work at hand. So I can see both sides of the coin.
Today's journal entry...
January, 12, 2018~
It's a funny thing this place - not ha ha funny, but more peculiar funny. Or not the place but me. I'm yearning for my family like crazy. They've restricted my contact with them down to a house phone - which it's recommended I not use for the first 72 hours. I understand the reasoning behind it and yet I yearn. I am able to go to the library and utilize the computer, but the library hours are limited and they keep us very busy from eight to five, so it's is difficult to get there. I'm on my third day.
The funny thing is that I've been away from my kids before for this long and been fine... so it's the thought of being away for so long that plaques me. On the phone last night my youngest, Trevor, laughed so hard. his little four year old laugh warms my heart! It made me cry though. I was so grateful to hear it and it was a reminder of how much I love those happy moments. But I prayed and thanked God that I got to hear it. I guess what I should be praying for is peace in my heart of being away.
I'm learning so much here already. I will try to leave some good tidbits soon. XOXO