So this weekend at Women Ignite Idaho was crazy awesome and I had about 3 different breakthoughs...but one that I MUST share.
So let's start with this. Most of you don't know that I'm a delegate for the Mrs. Idaho America pageant. My title is Mrs. Ridge to Rivers. (AWESOME...I know!) I've been a delegate for a couple months now, but just haven't revealed that publicly until Saturday.
On Saturday, I was invited by 7 lovely pageant ladies to join their table. I knew that would require that I wear my sash and let the world in on my little secret. Up until then, I was completely uncomfortable putting that out there. I made a joke when I was approached about it and said "you know I'm 5'4 and have no boobs, right?" I'd tell people that I haven't "come out yet" and that my goal was "just not embarrass myself" and that I know "I'm not the normal pageant type".
Kate McGuire made a powerful speech on Saturday about how she uses self-deprecating humor and that it was basically because of her own insecurity. Her very real and genuine speech made me think about my own insecurity. I started thinking about how my responses were all based on my insecurity and fear of judgement. I felt I didn't fit the right mold to be in the Mrs. Idaho pageant. This belief started from a time when I was very young; I never felt like I was good enough just being myself. I was also afraid of the judgement that would come from people's perceptions of pageants...which I've learned is very skewed from reality (that's a whole other topic).
Because of my insecurity and fear, I had only planned to wear my sash while the other Mrs. Idaho delegates were there on Saturday and I would go back to being incognito on Sunday. Sunday morning I woke up with this ephiphany...that I needed to wear that sash on Sunday. That I needed to put my big girl panties on and own it. That I AM ENOUGH. I'm excited what this journey will bring for me. I hope that I will be able to speak to many hearts...that you are enough too.